When I was young, the Universe seemed much smaller than it does today. There was the Sun, the Moon, and a lot of stars in the nighttime sky that I assumed God had placed there to block the view of the Heavenly home, where He and His Son Jesus lived. I imagined it to be a grand palace with beautiful flowering gardens and cascading fountains, surrounded by the barracks where the angels stayed and of course, the new construction zones where apartments were being built for those of us that were saved during our time on Earth. I didn’t understand how God did it but the project seemed small enough to be feasible. 

As time went by, however, my knowledge of the Universe grew and I realized that Earth was not situated in the backyard of Heaven, as I had once assumed, but sat instead in the middle of the Milky Way Constellation, an area that was by far much greater than the little community I once believed I was a part of. I began to have doubts about the stories I had been told of this loving-caring God who watched over us from above and, as time went by and the known Universe expanded to Infinity, I lost all belief in the feasibility of a God who cared about me. He became no more real to me than were Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. I was alone and Life no longer seemed to matter. There was no point in going forward.

“Why do you search with your eyes for that which can not be seen?” a voice inside of me asked. “And why do you listen with your ears for that which can not be heard? Feel instead the beating of your heart and know that I am with you and always will be… for I AM Life and I am Eternal.”

“I am Love and I am Hate, 

I am both Joy and Sorrow,

I am all of the Yesterdays,

And also Tomorrow.

I am Gay and I am Straight,

Both a Saint and a Sinner,

A Prostitute and a Virgin,

A Loser and a Winner.

I am Rich and I am Poor,

Black as well as White,

I make Peace and go to War,

I am the Day and I am Night.

I’m a King and I’m a Beggar,

A Husband and a Wife,

I’m a Coward and a Hero,

I am Death and I am Life.

I am All and I am Nothing,

The Beginning and the End,

I am all things that now are Living,

I am the Great I AM.”

One thought on “I AM

  1. This is one of your best. I admire the way you see life with some equanimity at the same time as you struggle so unflinchingly and flinchingly, and celebrate so sensitively and joyfully, the challenges and blessings we find here in this earth life. You are honest in your writings and I thank you for sharing your perspectives and experiences.

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